The Rediculous Misadventures of Five Girls
by bookworym
Summary: My version of girls from this dimension going to the Harry Potter world. Of course, my version involves hyperactive hormones, pine trees, and scary fangirly moments. Cowritten with readergirl390.


A friend of mine and I have been writing this story for a while in a script sort of format. We weren't getting many reviews, so we decided to write it in story format and see where that got us. Due to the original format, there will most likely be a lot of dialogue in every chapter. We tried very hard to add text to even it out, but we may not have succeeded everywhere. Please don't hold that against us. This is (in my opinion) a very comedic version of a mary sue. It's definitely a spoof, not serious in any way, shape, or form. We hope you all enjoy it. The first part of this chapter is part of the script format that we decided to keep. It's the bit that usually appears in the first few pages of a script that introduces the cast and sometimes tells you something about each character. It isn't necessary for the plot line, but I thought it would be funny to put it in here. I indicated the actual beginning of the chapter with my page break, which is xxXxx. Feel free to skip this bit and start the story if you want. Please also note that the chapters are often told from different character's points of view.

Please Note: There are a lot of quick changes in who is speaking at any given time, so we edited the type and made a key so you don't get too lost.

Please review at the end!

KEY:

**Name- tells who the profile is about**

_**Name- who is speaking**_

_Script- what is being said_

Script- what category is being asked or answered

/ = separate subject, or people talking

:words: shows action

3 heart (sideways)

**Nicole-**

Age: 14

Sex: Yes please!- ummmmm I meant to say female.

Status: Single

_**Kim- **__I wonder why…_

_**Nicole-**__ Hey! It's not my fault that I'm a teenager and am run by unbalanced hormones!_

Looks: about 5'2", chestnut colored hair about chest length with highlights. I have hazel eyes.

_**Ron-**__ Hott!_

_**Nicole-**__ Hahahaha awww you're so cute!_

Attitude: Ditzy, overactive hormones, very sarcastic, always tells jokes, loves to dance, sings.

Goal: screw all the hott guys at Hogwarts and have fun doing it.

**Ron-**

Age: 14, turning 15

Sex: _**Fred-**__ He's never had any._

_**Ron-**_ _Hey! Err, he means male. _

_**Draco-**__ Well, we think, most of us are still trying to figure this out, it would be a whole lot easier if he got laid, then we would know for sure._

Status: **George-** _He can't get a date, well there was that one time he hired a hooker…_

**Ron-** _Haha he's such a kidder. He means I'm single and ready to 'mingle'._

Looks:

**Draco-** _Well, Weasel here looks like his face was set on fire and someone decided to put it out with a shovel…_

_**Ron-**__ OUT! This is MY profile so leave me ALONE and let me do it in peace!!!_

_**Draco-**__ Haha, like ever 'do it' Weasel, well maybe if you hired a hooker, and THAT would probably wouldn't wor-_

_**George-**__ Well, there was this one time-_

_**Ron-**__ I have freckles, red hair, blue eyes, and am about 5' 10"._

_**Draco-**__ You almost forgot to say that you look very sun depri-_

Attitude: Ummmm, I guess people would call me 'horny', but I that's only my overactive imagination. I'm a bit sarcastic too I guess and I like quidditch.

Goal: We have to have one? Then I guess it's to get-

_**Harry-**__ LAID!_

_**Ron-**__ NO! New friends! But really, I seriously don't think I have one._

_**Kiki-**__ YOU SLACKER! I ALWAYS KNEW THAT YOU WERE AN UNDERACHIEVER!!!_

_**Ron-**__ SHADDUP! I'll think of one later._

_**Kiki-**__ Riiiiiight….._

**Draco- **

Age: 15, turning 16 soon.

Sex: I get enough thanks-oh. I'm a guy.

Status: I really don't have one. I get laid ad stuff, but I really don't have an 'official' girlfriend, and I'm not looking, because, well, they all come to me.

Looks: 5'9", white-blonde hair that is usually slicked back, blue or green eyes, it depends on my mood.

_**Kiki-**__ Or which fanfiction you happen to be reading at the time…_

_**Draco-**__ Okay…._

Attitude:

_**Ron-**__ Bitch!_

_**Draco-**__ Buggeroff! _As I was saying before I was so RUDELY interrupted, I'm nice to people I like, and if I don't like you then go screw off. And get out of my way, because if you don't then you should watch your back. coughWEASELcough coughPOTTERcough coughMUDBLOODcough.

_**Kim-**__ Want a cough drop?_

_**Draco-**__ NO!_

Goal: Screw a lot of people. I guess that's pretty much it.

**Harry-**

Age: 14

Sex: Erm, well, I think that's a bit personal…

_**Ron-**__ They mean gender!_

_**Harry-**__ Ohhhh. Male. Hahahahah._

Status: Single. I guess I'm loving it, but I wouldn't mind having a girl.

Looks:

_**Draco-**__ Do you mean before or after the sex change?_

_**Harry-**__ SHUT UP!_ Untidy black hair, green eyes, glasses, around 5'9".

Attitude: Good. I'm a nice guy most of the time, but I have a quick temper sometimes.

_**Kiki-**__ That's the understatement of the century! CAPSLOCK!Harry._

_**Harry- **__Go away! NOW!_

_**Kiki-**__ :sticks out tongue at Harry:_

Goal: Get laid!

_**Kiki-**__ Well, at least he admitted it._

_**Nicole-**__ Do you really want other people to see that?_

_**Harry-**__ Wait… other people are going to be reading this?_

_**Nicole-**__ Yeah. What did you think it was for?_

_**Harry-**__ Well, Fred and George told me it was an add that they give to Playboy models every week-_

_**Nicole-**__ HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA! Oh My God! I SOOOO 3 them!_

_**Harry-**__ DAMN THEM! _What I meant to say was to win the quidditch cup for Gryffindor and maybe the house cup too. I really don't care about that as long as Slytherin doesn't win it.

**Michelle A(dolf)-**

Sex: Female…sometimes.

_**All others-**__ O.o;;_

_**Harry-**_ _Wait…. What is that supposed to mean anyways?_

_Michelle- Wouldn't you like to know, Harriet!_

_Harry- ::fumes:: ANYWAYS…_

Status: Single. PH33R my SINGLENESS! I an mega-GEEK-TASTIC! XD

_**All others-**__ 0.o;;_

_**Michelle-**__Would you STOP STARING AT ME LIKE THAT?! ::twitches…a lot::_

_**All others-**__ ::edge away slowly::_

Looks: green eyes, brown hair, kind of short, 130 pounds (ugh, I'm a fatty), I wear glasses in this fic. Emo glasses, because I like them. XD

Attitude: Oh yeah, I'm CHOCK FULLA ATTITUDE! BOO-YA! ::dances around::

_**All others**__- o.0;;_

_**Michelle**__- herm… ::cough:: Sorry._ Anyways, is sort of a tree-hugger, likes the colour pink (pn0n4g3) is bisexual

_**All others besides Nicole-**__ ::GASP::_

_**Michelle-**__ ::glare::_

Goal: To set up a giant risk game, and finally win! (I have never won a game of risk in my life.), to bang Cho Chang (because she sounds hot.)

_**Harry-**__ ::fumes::_

_**Michelle-**__ It's okay, you can come too!_

_**Harry-**__ YAY! ::skips off joyfully::_

More Goals: learn to fly, learn to play the ukulele well, get the new Flaming Lips album….::rambles off::

_**All others-**__ ::fall asleep:: zzZzzzZZZzzzz_

_**Michelle-**__ And, well, that's the end. ^_^;;_

**Hermione-**

Age: 15

Sex: Is a very dirty thing! That should only be done by married people! Now that we have that all cleared up, I'm a girl.

Status: I have a boyfriend, Viktor Krum, but since we don't talk anymore I'm going to dump him before it affects my school work.

Looks:

_**Draco-**__ Ugly_

_**Hermione-**__ Hey! 5'2", brown hair, brown eyes_

Attitude:

_**Ron-**__ coughBITCH!cough_

_**Hermione-**__ Are you catching a cold or something, Ron?_

_**Everyone-**__ ::rolls eyes::_

Ummmm outgoing, bright, talented, and people've called me bossy before…

Goals: Get top grades and win the house cup

_**Nicole-**__ Dude, she REALLY needs to get laid_

_**Everyone-**__ ::nods::_

_**Hermione-**__ ::glares dangerously::_

_**Everyone-**__ ::stop nodding::_

**Fred and George-**

Age: 17

Sex: We'd like more of it, thanks….male.

Status: Single! Come on girls, you KNOW you want us.

Looks:

_**Draco- **__Like they fell out of the ugly tree and hit every branch on the way down._

_**Nicole-**__ Well, I think they're quite adorable._

_**Fred+George-**__ ::grin:: Thanks!_ Red hair, brown eyes, 5'11"

Attitude: love pulling pranks and getting into trouble, funny, friendly,

Goals: finally humiliate Snape!, start a joke shop, come up with more pranks-

_**Draco-**__ Maybe tan a bit._

_**Fred-**__ Look who's talking Draco. We're tanner than you._

_**George-**__ ::slaps Draco in the back of the head when he turns around::_

**Kiki**

Age: 15

Sex: Is a very annoying thing-

_**Girl 1-**__ I don't get it. Guys think that if they buy you a drink, it's like a free ticket into your pants. Well it's not_

_::waiter walks up::_

_**Waiter-**__ What can I get you, ladies?_

_**Girl 1-**__ I'll have a panty dropper._

_**Girl 2-**__ A screaming orgasm._

_**Girl 3-**__ A slow comfortable screw._

_**Kiki-**__ errrrr._ Oh yeah! I'm a chick.

Status: SINGLE ::kicks ex's body behind door:: AND LOVING IT!

Looks: blueish-greenish eyes, wavy dirty blonde hair ::sees people staring:: NOT THAT KIND OF DIRTY! 5'5" ::is rounding up::

Attitude: Really perky and happy go lucky. I'm playing tag with the guys in the white coats and they haven't caught me yet.

_**Everyone else-**__ ::back away slowly::_

Unrealistic Goals: to draw better than Michelle, to learn the robot dance, to sing C sharp.

Realistic Goals: to draw elf ears and butterfly wings that end up being the same size, to help The Brain take over the world. ::cackles:: I AM YOUR MASTER OBEY ME!!! ::attempts to wiggle fingers in a scary manner and fails miserably::

_**Nicole-**__Tthe other characters won't have a profile_

_**Other Characters-**__ HEY!_

_**Nicole-**__ Sorry, but we have to start the fic some time._

_**Other Characters-**__ Don't we get to vote on it?_

_**Nicole-**__ Nope, because I said so, and the other characters are (these are only a few who are used often) Kim, Ginny Weasley, Percy Weasley, Pansy Parkinson, Crabbe, Goyle, Oliver Wood, Katie Bell, Alicia Spinnet, Lavender Brown, Parvati Patil, Hogwarts staff, pets, luggage, and money and stuff, hehe._

xxXxx

Chapter One: Happy Birthday to You

We don't get to hang out together all that much anymore. High school tends to get in the way of such things. So we were all really excited when Michelle phoned and asked about a sleepover. We did all the normal things that one does at an all girls slumber party; we painted each other's nails, watched a horror flick, and talked about boys. By the time we did all of this, it was ten-thirty. We were all sitting on and around Michelle's bed talking. Well, Nicole was singing Dream Street and we were all trying to get her to stop.

"IT HAPPENS EVERY TIME! WHEN I SEE YOU! IT HAPPENS EVERY TI-mmmf."

"I told you that if you kept singing I'd hit you with a pillow!" Michelle says, a triumphant look on her grinning face.

"You kinda deserved it." I (also known as Kiki) say.

"Nobody asked you." Nicole answers hotly.

"So guys, what did you get me?" Michelle says, which keeps me from making a smart reply.

"Ummm what?" I reply as I raise an eyebrow in confusion.

"Duh! For my birthday! That's why I was having the party!"

Kim, who has been lounging next to me and watching this whole exchange with extreme amusement widens her eyes and says "Oh my god Michelle, we're so sorry but we completely forgot-mmf!"

"What you wanted, so we decided we'd take you somewhere. So, where have you ALWAYS wanted to go?" Nicole, who has put her hand over Kim's mouth, interjects.

Michelle ponders her answer before she answers happily, "THE WONDERFUL WORLD OF HARRY POTTER!"

"But it's impossible to-OW!" Kim says, again cut off before she can finish her sentence.

Nicole, who had stepped on her foot, finishes the sentence for her, "To, to, umm, go without luggage and money and stuff, hehe."

I, who had by this time decided to intercede on Nicole's behalf in order to give her more time to come up with a plan, say "Yeah so you guys go downstairs while I help her pack."

Nicole needs no further prompting. She says "Okay," and drags Kim out of the room.

As I watch Michelle happily throw random articles of clothing into two large trunks, I hear Kim and Nicole's voices drift up the stairs.

"Okay, so even if there IS a "Wonderful World of Harry Potter", how are WE supposed to get there? More important, what are we going to do about the baby sitter?" Kim says.

The aforementioned baby sitter is Mrs. Toodles. An eccentric if slightly insane elderly woman who is convinced that she is Michelle's grandmother; she had been hired by Michelle's parents to keep an eye on all of us while they were out for the night. Personally, I think that fifteen was more than old enough to be left home alone, but I guess Michelle's parents disagree.

"We'll cross that bridge when we come to it. We have to get ready first."

"How?" Kim asks in an exasperated voice.

"Well, first I'm going to eat some pizza. Then, I'm going to get dressed. I am NOT going to let any of those boys see me in my Hello Kitty pajamas and slippers."

"Okay, let's go." I hear Kim say, in obvious defeat.

Right around this time, I stop listening to the conversation in order to prevent Michelle from packing her Flaming Lips cds, which have been played to death. It takes me about ten minutes to explain that the cd player won't work anyway, so there is no point in bringing them. When Michelle finally gives in and puts her music back on her shelves, I hear Kim and Nicole talking downstairs again.

"Okay, I'm looking fiiiiiine now. Let's go see what they're up to.

Realizing that they are headed our way, Michelle and I bring the trunks to the top of the staircase. When Kim and Nicole appear at the bottom and look up at us in confusion, Michelle and I look at each other and a most musing thought crosses our minds at the same time.

Nicole has obviously noticed that particular look, and, having seen it many times before, knows exactly what it means because I hear her say "Uh-oh."

"Ready, set, GO!" I say and Michelle and I push the trunks down the stairs with us on top.

As we topple down the stairs, I hear Kim scream as she jumps out of our way. When the trunks finally slide to a halt, Michelle says

"What a rush!"

I am about to ask if we can do it again when Nicole says "Yeah, sure, whatever. What are we going to tell Mrs. Toodles so we can leave?"

"Watch and learn, grasshopper." Michelle answers.

She walks over to Mrs. Toodles, who has taken up residence on the couch in front of the television with the newspaper. The television is tuned to one of those cheesy game shows. I'm not even sure if Mrs. Toodles is paying attention to it, but I know better than to ask to turn it off. One thing every single one of us knows is to never come between Mrs. Toodles and her game shows.

"Hey, Mrs. Toodles?" Michelle asks.

"Yes dear?" Mrs. Toodles says as she looks up from her newspaper.

"We just wanted to tell you that we're going to go to the magical world of Harry Potter tonight and we don't know when we'll be back. Is that okay?"

"Of course, darling. Do grandma Toodles a favor and say 'hi' to Professor Snape for me while you're there. He was such a sexy kid when I went there. Why, I haven't talked to him in YEARS. Oh, and come back by next summer, alright? I think you might need new panties by then."

Kim, whose jaw has dropped to the floor by this point manages to sputter out "Huh, but I, what I, that is I-mmf."

This time it's Michelle who cuts off Kim mid sentence and says "Yes, Mrs. Toodles."

Mrs. Toodles smiles and waves a finger at us as she says "That's Grandma Toodles, dear."

Michelle rolls her eyes and says "Okay, grandma. Thanks again, bye."

Mrs. Toodles nods, obviously satisfied and goes back to her newspaper. With that, we pick up the trunks and head out. As Michelle closed the front door behind her, Kim finds her voice again and says incredulously,

"Your parents actually leave you with her?"

"Yep. Sweet, huh?" Michelle answers with a grin.

Well, there you go! Chapter one in all its glory! Please review and tell me what you think!


End file.
